When you follow your bliss... doors will open where you would not have thought there would be doors, and where there wouldn’t be a door for anyone else.
—Joseph Campbell
How have you come to be so thin. Why are you trembling. Why are you so pale, oh simple girl, and she answered the lord of her life, all these things just happen for no reason sighing as she said it and turning to let tears fall.
—Sanskrit
Gratitude II
It's morning and I am sitting on my veranda, having a cup of strong Ceylon tea, listening to the roar of the ocean as the tide comes in. My swim trunks are on and I am just waiting for me to finish that last swallow, so I can go for a morning dip in the warm, salt seawater. The road in front of my home is quiet, no school buses today, it's Sunday. My peaceful meditation is broken only by the occasional "thump" of a coconut falling to the ground. A pair of mongoose play in the yard. One caught a frog which they share. I have a thought to get my camera but I make no move in that direction.
I sit back, breathe deeply and relax into my chair. Then I realizing this is the image of myself I envisioned when I saw a photograph of this home a bit less than three months ago. Now, I am here, sitting on the veranda in the exact same place. I am actually living a dream. I feel as if I won life's lottery. The tears roll down my face in total gratitude of this life. Even now I as I write this, I am having trouble seeing my keyboard, suppressing the sniffles from my nose. My gratitude and appreciation is so deep. My being so filled with joy. I don't know what I did in my life to deserve this reward, other than take a chance and "follow my bliss."
My cousins and beautiful friends, Lara and Marcus, thought they were preparing this home to rent to travelers coming here to vacation in Fiji. They had no idea they were preparing it for me until we met. I committed to being here, sight unseen, in a country I knew nothing about all based upon the the flash of an image in a photograph. Now I know, this will be my home for a long, long time. Everything I have ever wanted, desired and even longed for is right here. I came here thinking I would find anonymity but that quickly changed. Here, people know me, people like me. Not me for me, but me because I am seen as a fellow human being. They welcome me into their cars, trucks, homes and hearts.
"Com'on com'on," a woman calls to me from the back of a pick up truck as I waited at the bus stop for a lift into town. I quickly climbed into the back of the truck and took a seat on the bench. "Bula," my companions all shouted as I sat back against a makeshift frame of iron tie rod covered with a vinyl tarp, our feet resting on sacks of fresh taro root. I came here alone and now I am surrounded by family. I brought very little with me and now, I have everything I need.
How does one express gratitude? It is the only virture I believe is not overrated. (Proust Questionnaire, #8) How does one give thanks to the world for infinite dreams when one comes true? Rumi says, "There are a thousand way to kneel and kiss the ground."
I am down on my knees and for the depth of my gratitude, I will never get up. For the love of a life fulfilled, my lips will never part from the ground.
Photo Credit: Storm Clouds Over Fiji, Tao, Digital Image, 2011